so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
