my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sober January is a disaster.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
