you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
