but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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