brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
