So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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