I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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