i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
