Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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