Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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