addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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