I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
