I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
