I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
