I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
