So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
