i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
