Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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