? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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