definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I touched a dick in church today
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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