shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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