remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
