I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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