bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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