Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
