So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
