Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
