wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
