So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
