I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so let's talk penis.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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