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I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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