fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
