also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sorry about my life...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
