I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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