I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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