If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
