OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
