Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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