Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
