Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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