CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We left the knife in your bed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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