Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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