R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
