ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
