how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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