She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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