This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I see more hoeing in ur future
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