Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
