Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
