you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
