Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
