But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
