Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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